Ranma Anecdotes
by YunCyn
Summary: Update: Anecdote XV. Ranma Anecdotes: Short amusing accounts of something that has happened involving the Ranma 1.2 cast. Which could mean darn near anything. Meant to be humourous although that MIGHT not happen...
1. Ranma Anecdote I

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn **

**Disclaimer: **Ranma 1/2 and all its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi-san. (Sides' would YOU like to own that crazy bunch of Nerimans?)

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_Anecdote: 1) An anecdote is a short, amusing account of something that has happened. _

_ 2) Anecdotes are individual accounts that are not reliable evidence. _

_ Source: Collins Cobuild English Dictionary _

Boy, are we gonna have fun with this…

* * *

**Anecdote One: **The Mallet Girl's Thoughts On Her Fiancé.

.

No, I do NOT hate Ranma. Not in the least.

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Except when he keeps calling me a tomboy…

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Or when he calls me thick waisted…

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Or when he calls me uncute…

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Or when he calls me a macho girl…

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Or when he flirts with Shampoo…

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Or when Shampoo flirts with him…

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Or when he flirts with Ukyo…

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Or when Ukyo flirts with him…

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Or when he starts beating up P-Chan…

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…Alright. I DO hate him then! With ALL my heart and soul!

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…Except when he gets that really shy, pensive smile…

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And when he takes enough time to actually try and be nice…

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And when he saves me so often when I fall off buildings, cliffs and such things…

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And when his strong arms are around me, holding me steady whenever I fall…

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And when he goes so over protective over me…

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…

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Akane bangs her head on the table.

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_Do I like him or NOT?! _

.

**End. **


	2. Ranma Anecdote II

**Ranma Anecdotes **

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer**: Oh, yes, I do own Ranma 1/2. Uh huh, sure, and mauve's the natural colour of cheese.

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**Anecdote Two: **A Damper On A Cure

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"…I DID IT!! It's raining and I'm still a guy!! **WOOOOHOOOO**!!!"

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"…you haven't worn raincoats before, have you Ranma?" asked Akane dryly.

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Ranma scowled as he tuned down his joyful dancing and stuck his hands inside the plastic pockets of the dark blue raincoat he was wearing.

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"Spoilsport."

.

**End.**


	3. Ranma Anecdotes III

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer**: Claiming ownership over a guy who turns into a girl with four girls after him, more than four guys trying to kill him, has a panda for a father and seems to have some sort of foot-in-mouth disease when it comes to talking to his main fiancé is slightly overrated if you put it all in one sentence like that.

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**Anecdote Three: **Don't You Wish It Were As Simple As This?

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"POPS!! What the hell-?!"

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Genma Saotome, sporting a black eye, dragged his protesting, kicking, screaming son by the back of his collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the door to a closet and tossed a struggling, Chestnuts Roasting Over Open Fire-ing Ranma inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out.

.

.

Two minutes later…

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"OJISAN!! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!!"

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Genma Saotome, now sporting two black eyes, dragged his squealing, kicking, protesting future daughter in law by the back of her collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed a screaming, struggling Akane inside. Slamming the door shut again, he locked it and went out. Again.

.

.

Five minutes later…

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"STUPID PANDA MAN!! LET GO!!"

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Genma Saotome, now nursing two black eyes and a swollen lip, dragged a punching, squalling, kicking Chinese girl by the back of her collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door again and tossed the yelling, struggling Shampoo inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.

.

.

Ten minutes later…

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"OI!! WHERE'RE YOU TAKING ME?! HANASE!!"

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Genma Saotome, now sporting two black eyes, a swollen lip and a sprained ankle, dragged a spatula waving, kicking, yelling okonomiyaki chef by the back of her collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the struggling, protesting Ukyo inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.

.

.

Fifteen minutes later…

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"GET YOUR FILTHY COMMON HANDS OFF ME!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"

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Genma Saotome, now making two black eyes, a swollen lip, a sprained ankle and a now bruised windpipe, dragged a ribbon waving, shrieking, kicking gymnast by the back of her leotard collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the writhing, struggling Kodachi inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.

.

Twenty minutes later…

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"LEGGO OF ME BAKAYARO!! OR YOU'LL BE SORRY-"

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Genma Saotome, with two black eyes, a swollen lip, a sprained ankle, a bruised windpipe and now a bleeding cut on his face as a result of his broken glasses, dragged a kicking, punching, screaming master of hidden weapons by the back of his collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the struggling, squawking Mousse inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.

.

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Twenty-five minutes later…

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"REMOVE THINE HANDS FROM MY EXPENSIVE, SILK CLOTHES!! OR YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES-"

.

Genma Saotome, model of the two black eyes, swollen lip, sprained ankle, bruised windpipe, bleeding cut on face and very cracked skull look, dragged a bokken waving, kicking, title yelling kendoist by the back of his collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the struggling, insane Kuno inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.

.

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Three days later…

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"WHY'D YOU DRAG ME ALL THE WAY FROM TAIWAN, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!! OI!!"

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Genma Saotome, the injury count now being two black eyes, a swollen lip, a sprained ankle, a bruised windpipe, one bleeding gash on his face, a cracked skull and a now very achy feet, abdomen and bruised body, dragged a screeching, kicking, protesting lost boy by the back of his collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the struggling, Bokusai Tenketsu-ing Ryoga inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it.

.

Amidst the furious and ferocious poundings on the door, screeches, squawks, squalls, protests, threats, screams, shrieks, yells and other miscellaneous outcries of pure, unadulterated rage, Genma Saotome slumped against a wall and called out to the now very full and shaking closet.

.

.

"Work it out!"

.

.

**End.**

A/N: Inspired by "The Angry Beavers". Good old Daggett...


	4. Ranma Anecdotes IV

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By: YunCyn**

**Disclaimer: **No, seriously, I DO own Ranma 1/2! Hahahahaha! And I'm Queen of the Yellow Giraffe Pixies!! Hahahahaha!

**A/N: **Thank you all for the reviews! _Honeywell_-san, the anecdotes will mostly center around Ranma and Akane but you never know what things will pop out. Even I don't. (sweat drop) Hope you enjoy them anyway! :)

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**Anecdote Four: **Kuno the Second?

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"You… you KUNO-WANNABE!!"

Ranma was so stunned he had absolutely nothing to say. And silence descended upon them like a tide upon a helpless sandcastle. He stared at Akane, the insult trying to bore into his head but couldn't. So, he decided to say something.

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"**WHAAAT?!**"

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"You heard me! You're a KUNO-WANNABE!" retorted Akane, face flushed from half yelling.

"I, I,… I am SO not a Kuno!!" yelled back Ranma indignantly. "I don't wave wooden sticks, I don't go yelling I'm 'BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH' and I don't go around being a complete moron!"

"Yeah, well, you ARE a moron sometimes, you're as conceited as he is sometimes and you're juggling FOUR fiancées at once! That, that makes you WORSE than him!!" Akane stomped off.

Ranma glared after her then turned away, a very nasty betraying voice in his head saying that she had somewhat of a point.

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….

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Ranma's suddenly head jerked up and yelled in the direction Akane had gone.

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"**THREE**, AKANE!! THREE FIANCEES, NOT FOUR, DAMMIT!"

.

**End.**


	5. Ranma Anecdotes V

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own nothing but the plot. Now can you please let go of my neck, Lawyer-san? It's really painful...

**A/N:** Reviews make this authoress very happy, yes indeed. Thanks again, guys. Chiisana-san, your ideas are always welcome. As are all the rest of you guys! If you guys have any suggestions, I'd be glad to hear them. I can't guarantee that I'll use them directly but I'll give credit where it's due, rest assured. :)

Uh... kay, better stop now before this is taken as interactive and this fic gets taken off the site. (scurries off)

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**Anecdote Five: **Define "Don't Say Anything At All"

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"You un-cute, un-sexy, un-desirable, macho, jump-to-conclusions-like-a-mad-kangaroo TOMBOY!"

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**BONK! **

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As Akane stormed out of the room, a dented mallet in hand, Ranma observed the pretty colours of the very chirpy canaries dancing round his head. Not to mention all the sparkly mini P-Chans chasing the canaries…

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"Ranma-kun? Akane-chan? I…" Kasumi blinked then turned around to head back into the kitchen. "I'll go get the first aid box then…"

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Some minutes later, as Kasumi handed a head bandaged Ranma a cup of tea, she tried to offer some older sisterly advice. She'd always thought herself as Ranma's sister even if he wasn't in the family. Yet.

"Ranma-kun? May I make a suggestion?"

Ranma wrenched himself from dark thoughts about a certain tomboy he was pretty sure had some issues to deal with. MAJOR issues. "Sure, Kasumi. What about?"

"There is an English saying that goes, "_if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." _ Maybe you could remember that the next time you are tempted to argue with Akane?"

"…what?"

Kasumi smiled. "You know enough English to understand what I'm talking about."

Ranma frowned "Gimme a minute…"

One full round of the clock's third hand went by. Suddenly, Ranma's eyes widened.

.

"You want me to turn into a mute?"

.

**End.**


	6. Ranma Anecdotes VI

** Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer:** Repetitive lil' rascal, ain't ya, Disclaimer-kun?

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**Anecdote Six: **The Pros and the Cons

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"Think about it, Ranma. Akane may be violent at times but she doesn't try to force you into marrying her. Like Shampoo."

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"But-"

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"And Akane may be unfeminine but she doesn't go around smacking you in the face with a large spatula. Like Ukyo."

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"Uh…"

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"Akane-chan also may be a complete tomboy but she doesn't try to poison you or strangle you with a ribbon. Like Kodachi."

.

"…Kasumi, what kind of flowers does Akane like best?"

.

**End.**

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**A/N**: Now, before any Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi supporters come trying to impale me on pikes and stick my severed head on the fence as a warning to other authors, let me just say one thing: while I prefer Akane, I in no way, abhor the rest of the ladies who wish to get involved with Ranma. This is all just in good fun, I assure you. So please, put down those pitchforks before you poke someone's eye out.


	7. Ranma Anecdotes VII

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the plot and the sarcastic, near caustic, disclaimer comment.

**A/N**: _Chi Vayne_-san, thank you for pointing that out. Make that "Purposely poison you..." =)

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**Anecdote Seven: **Understatement

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"…ok, so explain that to me again?"

.

"Ranma and Akane are engaged. But Ranma's dad also got him engaged to a girl named Ukyo. Then because Ranma defeated Shampoo, he's supposed to be engaged to her as well. But now, Akane's got another guy who wants to marry her named Ryoga who's also Ranma's rival. Then there's Kuno who's after Akane but also after girl Ranma whom he doesn't know is Ranma whom he hates. There's Mousse who wants to kill Ranma because he thinks Ranma stole Shampoo away from him but Shampoo doesn't like Mousse and wants to marry Ranma instead. And there's also Kuno's sister, Kodachi who wants to marry Ranma as well."

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"And… they're all sixteen or seventeen?"

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"Yup."

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There was a pause.

.

.

.

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"People in Nerima all like to get married early, don't they?"

.

.

.

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**End.**


	8. Ranma Anecdotes VIII

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer:** You'd think after 26 stories, I'd know better than to claim characters as my own.

**A/N: **If you can't stomach fluff, better skip this one. It's a **SONG FIC**. (gasps of horror) No offense, dudes. I kinda like the song fic style. Cheers!

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**Anecdote Eight**: Don't Have To Stay

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Akane sniffed. _Ranma no baka. All I wanted was to make him happy. I mean, I made decent curry the other day. And this batch really does taste good. It does._

She sniffed some more as one more blasted tear dropped onto her hand. She hated crying about him. But she honestly couldn't help it. As much laughter as he had brought, Ranma had also brought more tears before she met him.

_Ranma no baka. _

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"_And now some days have passed_…"

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She looked up. That seemed to have come from her window.

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"_The nights gone by_…"

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Hurriedly wiping her eyes, she crossed her room and slid the window open.

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"_You can see the glow slowly fading from her eyes_…"

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Her eyes widened. By widened, it was round-as-dinner-plates, I-can't-believe-my-own-eyes, oh-my-goodness-is-THAT-what-I'm-seeing?! widened.

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"_Though she denies her pain and her dismay_…"

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The reason for this sudden change of expression (miserable to completely and totally shell shocked till even her brain had become numb somewhat) was that a certain martial artist dressed in red and black with hardly believable skills and strength (until you saw them for yourself and actually pinched yourself twice to make sure you weren't hallucinating and that yes, that HAD been a solid, steel braced, concrete wall he'd just reduced to crumbs)…

Was standing outside in the garden, looking up at her and with a somber expression on his face.

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"_Know I said this to her anyway_…"

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And apparently singing the Japanese version of some song by some American group she'd heard some time ago. Who would have thought that Ranma actually remembered that comment of hers about how nice it was?

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"_Don't have to stay with someone_…"

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Well… not that he was singing it properly. He'd missed the first verse.

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"_That makes you cry_…"

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But, thought Akane suddenly, he seemed to be making a point.

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"_You'll end up killing all the love you have inside_…"

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A point which clearly, was painful to make despite that slight defiance in his blue eyes, determined to go through with it.

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"_Can't hope to see the sun_…"

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Her heart seemed to swell.

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"_If you don't open your eyes_…"

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So… he did understand. And in a way… he was apologizing without saying the actual word.

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"_Girl, don't let real love pass you by…_"

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He trailed off, still holding her gaze. She looked back at him.

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_Don't have to stay with someone that makes you cry..._

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Akane brusquely wiped her tears away.

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"RANMA NO BAKA!! I'd leave if I wanted to!! Who said I was staying with you!? And I'll never ever leave you because I owe you too many BUTT KICKINGS!!"

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The window slid back so hard, the glass cracked.

.

And Ranma stood stock still in the garden, staring at the window for five long minutes before breaking out into a large, near maniacal grin.

.  
  
**End.**

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**A/N: **"Pass You By" was performed by Boyz II Men. Nice song, it is. 


	9. Ranma Anecdotes IX

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer**: And I'm sure Ranma's mine... oh wait, that'll be the delusion setting in...

**A/N**: I finally got down to uploading this from my laptop. And you thought they were over... (horror movie background music)

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**Anecdote Nine: **What They Have To Offer 

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Ranma was yet again pondering his life atop the Tendo Dojo roof. This time however, he wasn't contemplating new ways to beat some new enemy, he wasn't thinking up new ways to beat the _old _enemies and he wasn't pondering about his long lost mother.

-

He was thinking about his fiancées/those girls who were after him to marry him.

-

The first he thought of was Kuno Kodachi. She could cook magnificent food and yet at the same time lace them with deadly numbing poisons even the world's scientists hadn't discovered yet. She was pretty at times and yet she was as psychotic as… well, no one actually. She was just plain psychotic.

-

Then he thought of Shampoo. She was capable of making wonderful ramen but had a tendency to claim him as her property with or without consent. She was also pretty but had funny Amazonian traditions that quite frankly, scared him at times. (Not to mention all those sisters…)

-

The third girl that crossed his mind was Kuonji Ukyo. Cooking delicious okonimiyaki was her passion but that huge spatula was the cause of occasional week long migraines. She was also cute and his childhood friend but she… well, she never stopped to really think about the feelings of the one she was fighting over.

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And then… there was Tendo Akane.

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Uncute, a tomboy, less figure than the others, violent, jumped to conclusions faster than a flea jumped from one dog to another, wouldn't stop arguing with him over the smallest thing, and she couldn't even boil water without making whoever drank it sick.

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But she thought of his feelings, she encouraged him when he was down, she tried to do what was best in his interests, and she didn't try to MAKE him marry her.

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In his heart, he already knew just who had taken residence there.

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But he was just thinking.

-

**End.**

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**A/N**: Absolutely no point to this. As are all the anecdotes to be honest... 


	10. Ranma Anecdotes X

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer**: Ranma? No, no, not mine. Bottle of water and a nasty cough? Yeah, that's got my name written ALL over it...

**A/N**: When I said anecdotes, I thought most of them would be fairly amusing if not making you fall off your chair and hit the floor in a seizure.

The following anecdote just proves me wrong. Warning for non-humour, if you don't like it, please wait for the next one, thank you!

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**Anecdote Ten: **Letting Go-AU 

**- **

**"Saotome Ranma!!** CHOOSE!!"

**- **

Akane looked on as Ranma's face contorted into one of emotional distress and pain. What with Shampoo, Kodachi, Ukyo, Kuno, Ryoga, and Mousse surrounding him like cats around a single mouse covered in fish oil, he was in enough dire straits as it was.

-

So it had come to this. Saotome Ranma would finally make a stand and announce just who it was that he liked.

-

Akane had been angry of course. She'd pummeled him more than enough times already for making such a stupid decision as to announce in front of the public whom his girlfriend/fiancée would be. (Actually it was Nabiki and Cologne's joint plan to spread the news but in Nerima, just as naturally as rain fell and the sun shone, everything was Ranma's fault)

-

Now as she watched him bite his lower lip and his eyes dart from every face, a quiet realization that he was under a lot of pressure came over her. Despite the insensitive jerk that he was, he never wanted to hurt people's feelings if he could help it. Physical pain was all right; you could heal from it. But when it came to the emotional wounds… Ranma knew you could never erase words just like a plaster over a bruise.

-

So, with a strange kind of determination, Akane walked over to where Ranma was, pushing aside Ukyo and Mousse.

-

"Ranma."

"Wait!!" cried Ranma. "Don't HIT me! I'm thinking, I'm thinking!!"

She glared. "…Ranma no baka!"

"What?!" he barked.

Akane looked at him for a minute before placing a hand on his upper arm and smiling.

-

"Be happy. Choose the one you really love… the one who makes you happy. And congratulations in advance."

-

Everyone stared at her, Ranma especially. She just smiled at him, patted him on the shoulder and walked away, unseen tears welling up in her eyes. If Ranma was truly happy with Shampoo or Ukyo or Kodachi… then she would be happy for him.

-

That was love after all.

-

* * *

- 

Five years later, in the ward of Nerima, Akane stood at the back of the crowd as Ranma and Shampoo emerged from the church to rousing cheers and wolf whistles.

-

They looked happy.

-

Her family had asked Akane many times if this was all right with her. She smiled sadly.

_- _

_"I admit: it hurts. It hurts a lot. But if Ranma's happy… then I'll be happy." _

_Kasumi looked at her littlest sister for a long while before hugging her. "You've grown up, Akane-chan." She whispered. "Okaasan would be proud of you." _

-

That was probably the best comfort she could receive. And Akane was the only one of Ranma's ex-fiancées or ex-rivals who came. Ryoga had gone on his travels, the Kuno siblings said they had a previous engagement, Ukyo declined politely and Mousse went back to China.

She watched as the newly weds jogged down the carpet to the waiting limousine. Ranma happened to turn around and spot her. She waved at him to get into the car. Ranma turned to his wife, said something and jogged over to her.

-

Akane frowned. "What're you doing!? Shampoo's waiting!"

"I know." He smiled at her. "…thanks, Akane."

Akane smiled as well, although it didn't reach her eyes. "This is what makes you happiest."

He nodded. "See you at the wedding dinner?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

Waving, he hurried into the limo and the car drove off, Ranma's friends trailing and shouting their goodbyes. Akane remained standing under the shade of the tree.

Closing her eyes, she didn't bother wiping away the tears that flowed.

-

_If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, it wasn't yours to begin with. _

_- _

The Tendo scion turned and headed home, where she belonged.

-

**End.**

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**A/N: **Yeah, I hear the Anti Akane fans sighing and going "If only..." at the moment... And all you other Akane fans, please, this was all for entertainment. Not that angst is ever entertaining but nevertheless, please don't kill me. And don't give me the news that "HELLO? They were meant to be together! Even the book says so!" 

I KNOW, thank you very much. Happy Deepavali, guys!


	11. Ranma Anecdotes XI

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer: **And yes, Ranma belongs to me, no I haven't taken my medication yet...

**A/N: **Ok, as far as I can see, I upset at least one reader with that last anecdote. The rest seems to have taken it in their stride.

Thank you all very much, guys.

_Cleo: _Uh, I didn't mean for any plot to come out at all. Honestly, hon. This fic is just a bunch of randomness glued together with no plot and less point. I admit that. However, I had intention to slightly upset because I was feeling rather strange at the time of writing. Now, since I'm in a better frame of mind, I apologize for upsetting you.

_ForgottenSmile: _Thanks for the sweet review. :)

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**Anecdote Eleven: **The Unexpected Catch 

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It was the day no one dared to dream of lest it didn't happen.

-

The chance to go to China and return to Jusenkyo arrived without a hitch.

-

The trip to the airport had gone without a hitch as well… more or less. After they'd stuffed P-Chan and Duck Mousse into Ranma's pack so they wouldn't keep trying to kill him on the plane. The panda too was checked in as one of those awfully realistic theme traveling bags. Akane protested about P-Chan but after a word or two from her own dad, she decided it was for the best.

-

The trip TO China and to Jusenkyo had also gone on without a hitch… more or less. After they'd kicked Happosai off the wing of the airplane. And the other wing. And the tail. And off the cockpit of the plane. And about an hour of searching for the Jusenkyo springs they finally made it. Without a hitch as well.

-

However, as the philosophy Ranma's entire being attested to, his life was full of catches. If every single event that could have messed things for him DIDN'T, it would mean an even bigger hitch at the very end of it all.

-

-

_SPLASH!! _

_-_

-

Akane looked at the sulking Ranma as the others soaked in an actual un-cursed hot spring. She sweat dropped.

-

"Think about it this way, Ranma… the guide will be back soon with the map of Jusenkyo and the hot water. I'm sure we'll find the right spring soon…"

-

Ranma glared at her as she sweat dropped even more.

-

"And it is rather your fault that you jumped into the Maonichuan without waiting…"

-

**End.**

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	12. Ranma Anecdotes XII

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer:** Some things just have to be repeated. A disclaimer is not exactly one of those things.

**A/N:** _Chiisana-san, _please send your idea and I'll duly put it up with due credit. And thank you for the review. It's highly appreciated. (I'd put a smiley face but will only put it as a "J". Don't know why, but I'm not asking.) And good luck with all your upcoming fics. (Cue for smiley face)

This... was written after I got a little frustrated. It'll probably have things that ALL of us have thought of at one point or another... this particular anecdote's probably not as good as the others.

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- 

**Anecdote Twelve**: Things Akane and Ranma Ought To Know

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1) Yelling at one another isn't going to go anywhere.

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2) Things aren't always Ranma's fault no matter how much it may seem that way

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3) Just OCCASIONALLY, you might like to try to sit down and talk without arguing over SOMETHING

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4) Somehow or other, trying to kill each other is not encouraged courting behaviour

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5) Jealousy is sometimes a sign of affection

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6) If possible, buildings are made to last for at least longer than five years. Not reduced to sawdust in under five seconds.

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7) Ranma, there are times when a man needs to shut up for the sake of his health

-

8) Akane, one must ask that after seeing a boy turn into a girl, a man turn into a panda, a girl turn into a cat, another boy turn into a duck and yet another boy turn into some sort of yak with wings, is it not possible to connect a certain tiny black piglet to a certain lost boy who wears the SAME bandanna?

-

9) Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' does NOT consist of only the balcony scene and the kissing scene. This _isn't_ Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, for goodness sake.

-

10) KISS each other and stop torturing all of us already!!

-

**End.**

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A/N: Number 9 really ticked me off, for some reason or another when I saw that episode. 


	13. Ranma Anecdotes XIII

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer: **Tell me, in all honesty, would YOU want that bunch of Nerimans plus the Chinese Amazons?

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-

**Anecdote Thirteen**: When You Haven't Got A Cat

-

There was one thing that a certain group of people wondered about half the time.

-

What would it take to break Ranma?

-

They had tried old fashioned methods like fighting him, tricking him, taking advantage of him in helpless situations, exploiting his weaknesses and plain old knocking him out on the head and dragging him to either get married to him or kick his arse.

-

For some reason or another (usually a reason whose name begins with A and ending with E) the aforementioned methods never turn out the way they want them to.

-

Perhaps it was because Fate, Fortune, Lady Luck and Destiny had decided long ago that although a certain martial artist by the name of Saotome Ranma would suffer through many and major inconveniences (that being the understatement of the year but nonetheless it seems to fit) he would emerge victorious and escape with only one broken leg or arm, not all at once. Maybe Universal Justice had decided some time before he was born that Ranma wouldn't be permanently down, just occasionally sinking then rising again.

-

Either that or Ranma's opponents/girls who want to marry him just don't have what it takes to defeat Ranma or get him to say just who he was going to marry.

-

One would like to think the former for the sake of one's health and a certain pig tailed martial artist's ego.

-

But I digress.

-

The point is that although Ranma's opponents/girls who want to marry him have tried to exploit his weaknesses once, it was Shampoo, Ukyo and Akane who know his ultimate weakness.

-

The cat.

-

But even then, Saotome Ranma has an instinctive safety valve. He turns into his ultimate fear with one martial art he doesn't really know he has: the Neko Ken.

-

Amazingly enough though, there is another weakness of Ranma's that NO ONE knows he has. Even HE'S not aware he has it.

-

And YET, this weakness of his has been exploited many times. So to speak.

-

One would tell you this but one thinks it is better if you are shown. A picture speaks a thousand words, as they say.

-

Picture this: A normal day in the Tendo household.

-

"PERVERT!!"

"UNCUTE!!"

"IDIOT!!"

"UNSEXY!!"

"JERK!!"

"MACHO GIRL!!"

"INSENSITIVE PIGHEAD!!"

-

After the traditional argument, there is an untraditional ending.

-

_Stupid, uncaring girl…! Who the heck does she think she is, calling me those names when I don't deserve it?! _

_- _

Ranma glanced behind him just to glare at his fiancée.

-

And he nearly keels over in shock.

-

Tendo Akane is doing something she'd much rather do in the privacy of her own room, preferably behind a locked door and curtain covered windows.

-

Sniff.

-

She's crying.

-

"A, ano…Akane… I, I'm sorry! I r, really didn't mean what I s, said!"

-

Sniff.

-

"R, Ranma no baka…"

-

Ranma still stiffens in shock. "Ak, Akane…g…gomen…"

-

Sniff.

-

"R…Ranma no baka… why didn't you say that earlier…"

-

To put it shortly, Ranma's second greatest weakness…

-

-

Are a girl's tears.

-

-

Yes, the very sight of crystal drops trailing in rivulets down a feminine cheek are enough to send Saotome Ranma into shock and into stone. Not really fear so much as heart stopping shock. For despite his uncouth words when facing off with a certain fiancée, he is still a gentleman. And gentlemen do not make ladies cry.

-

So, one can only imagine what would happen if all four of the girls who are interested in Saotome Ranma, that is to say Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi and Akane, were to cry all at once.

-

Were Ranma to know, he'd probably be unsure whether to thank Lady Luck, Fate, Fortune and Destiny or strangle them.

-

**End.**

* * *

**A/N**: Because that IS his weakness. Really! Any show of emotion other than anger, irritation and flaming aura rage seems to throw this dude off balance. 


	14. Ranma Anecdotes XIV

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer: **Me? Own Ranma 1/2? Certainly! How could you think otherwise? And I own a pair of talking, feathered dogs with amazing optic blasts like Cyclops from the X-Men!

* * *

-

**Anecdote Fourteen: **Food Is Love

-

It was a quiet day in the Tendo house.

-

Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane had all gone out shopping.

Tendo and Genma had gone to the nearby park to face some new shogi challengers.

Happosai was out, goodness knew where.

And Ranma…

-

Ranma was sitting in the dining room by the table.

-

He stared at the thing in front of him, a large glare on his face. He didn't move a muscle, just sat there and tried to glare at the inanimate object sitting on the low table in front of him, just daring it to move.

-

Considering its contents, the chance of something crawling out with a slime covered tentacle was pretty high.

-

It WAS after all, Akane's 53rd attempt at making a simple bento.

-

And it was his duty as her fiancé to unwrap the kerchief, remove the lid, pick up a pair of chopsticks and poison himself.

-

Either that or run the chopsticks through his abdomen. Either way it had the same effect.

-

He sighed as he read the note that lay beside the bento again.

-

_Dear Ranma, _

_Everyone's going to be out for the day so I made you lunch. Enjoy! _

_Akane. _

-

It was true that with practice came improvement.

-

But when with the improvement came practice that had the ability to have you stay in bed for more than three days with an aching stomach, was improvement worth it?

-

No, answered Ranma's logical side. It most certainly wasn't. Logic and Common Sense dictated that that thing of unnatural origin needed to be disposed of as carefully as toxic waste. If he just threw it out like that, there was bound to be ecological repercussions that weren't any good.

Self Preservation suggested he throw it into the pond then tell Akane he ate the bento. When the _koi_ in the pond eventually turned belly up, well… he _could _say it was algae poisoning.

-

However, considered Ranma's illogical side, when with improvement came the sight of that joyous look on Akane's face, wasn't it worth the three days of aching insides?

-

Wasn't it worth the pain and agony of stomach ache and diarrhea to see Akane's face have that glow on it because he ate something she cooked? **Willingly? **

-

-

…

-

-

"That's IT!! I've had it, MISTER!! You're on your own!!" Logic slammed his suitcases shut and stormed out, grumbling about being abused and ignored so often he was starting to grow cobwebs in his ears.

-

Common Sense lingered a moment before sighing and shaking her head. "You're a fool, you are." Bowing, she delicately picked up her own luggage and slipped away.

-

Self Preservation just slapped his forehead and muttered, "_HOPELESS…_" as he followed suit.

-

-

With trembling fingers, his fingers picked at the loose knot. The cloth fell away and revealed a burgundy box lid with a bunny pattern on it.

-

Summoning all the courage within his heart, he picked up the lid, heart pounding in anticipation and fear. A glance at the bottle of antacid and extra-digestive pills as well as medicine for food poisoning nearby gave him another boost of courage. He lifted the lid.

-

And found another note atop the clear plastic wrapped food.

-

-

_Just kidding. _

_This was from a new sushi shop just outside school. Hope you like it. _

_Akane. _

_-_

_- _

Tears welled up in Ranma's eyes.

-

"Akane…"

-

She _understood. _

-

Ranma's stomach sang for joy as he gratefully devoured the lunch.

-

**End.**

* * *

**A/N: **No, I don't think this could happen either... 


	15. Ranma Anecdotes XV

**Ranma Anecdotes**

**By YunCyn**

**Disclaimer: **Own Ranma 1.2, I do not.

**A/N:** Well, this will be the last of the anecdotes, I guess... I can hear the cheers of joy already, alright? Quit rubbing it in.

Anyway, if there are any more, I will post it up with luck. Just want to wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year. Peace!

-

* * *

- 

**Anecdote Fifteen:** Sweeter Than A Sweet Bun

-

"Ranma, I brought some snacks. Kasumi-oneechan bought some sweet buns yesterday too."

"Ah, thanks, Akane."

-

Ranma let out a last fierce cry, ending his daily training session in the dojo. His thoughts were as always, still on his speed and strength. Had he improved? It was rather impossible to tell when you sparred with air. _Oyaaji _and Tendo-ojisan were too busy playing shogi to monitor his status everyday.

-

Ah, well, didn't matter. Right now he was hungry and tea with buns sounded like a good idea. Wiping his face with a towel, he turned around.

-

-

And saw a guilty looking Akane. Looking down, two bun wrappers alongside a cup of tea on the tray met his eyes. Instantly, one and one were put together to make two and nearly made a three in the process

-

-

"Akane! That's my sweet bun you just ate! How could you!"

Akane sweat dropped. "I'm sorry Ranma, but they were just too good…"

"That's WHY I wanted to eat it! What were you thinkin'!

"…that they were good."

"AKANE! That's SO unfair! Do you know how hard it is to get sweet buns in this house! _Oyaaji_ either chomps it all up or that _ero youkai jiji _steals it all first! IT'S not like you can find anything else SWEETER than that besides sugar! C'mon, Aka-"

-

-

Ranma was rudely interrupted as he found Akane's lips against his own for one fleeting second. She jumped back, crimson. She'd gotten so tired of arguing that she had thought up some other ways of shutting her fiancé up. This had been one she had been dying to try out but never had the excuse to.

-

Until now, that is.

-

-

"Sweet enough?"

-

-

Ranma stared at her. She smiled back.

-

And the only thing he can say was…

-

-

"Urk."

-

-

**End.**

* * *

-

**A/N**: Inspired by that episode with Ranma and his shadow. (Can't remember the number though…) And no, I don't think this is possible either.


End file.
